Quotes from Trey Parker movies and TV shows

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Joe Cooper: If you want unanimous consent, you're gonna have to get it from one of the other owners.

Ben Chapelski: To the Orgazmobile.
Joe Young: What?
Ben Chapelski: My Buick Century.

Joe Young: We're from The Church of Jesus Christ.
Old Lady: Oh, the Mormons?
Joe Young: That's right. I'm elder Young and this is elder White.
Old Lady: Well, you two boys can just fuck right off.
Joe Young: Ma'am?
Old Lady: You heard me. Take that book of Mormons and shove it so far up your righteous asses that you choke, you soul soliciting pigfuckers.

Dave the Lighting Guy: Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think you got a hot ass.
Joe Young: Thanks.

Dave the Lighting Guy: Say, have you seen that movie Clash of the Titans?
Joe Young: Oh yeah, the greek mythology.
Dave the Lighting Guy: Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass.

Joe Young: They want me to do a sequel.
Lisa: A sequel, to "Death of a Salesman"? Doesn't he die at the end of the first?
Joe Young: Yes, but he has a twin brother, and he wants revenge.
Lisa: Revenge? But, doesn't he kill himself?
Joe Young: No, no, that's what you were led to believe. He was killed by the C.I.A for selling smack... to Nazis.
Lisa: Wow.

Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... Because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Helen Hunt: I'm... Helen Hunt!
Samuel L. Jackson: Samuel L. Jackson!
Matt Damon: Mmmaaattt Dammmmmooonnnn!

Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.

Lisa: Promise me you'll never die.
Gary Johnston: You know I can't promise that.
Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to you right now.
Gary Johnston: I promise I'll never die.

Gary Johnston: A limousine that can fly? Now I have seen everything!
Spottswoode: Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Gary Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: Then you haven't seen everything.

Chris: Jesus tittyfucking Christ dude, I could have sworn she was telling the truth!
Gary Johnston: That's why they call it acting.

Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.

Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the new world is inevitable.
Lisa: It's what?
Kim Jong Il: Inevit - inevitable.
Lisa: One more time?
Kim Jong Il: Inevitable! Things are inevitably going to change! Goddamnit, open your fuckin' ears!

Joe: Shit! I've got five terrorists going southeast on Bakalakadaka Street!

Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!

Gary Johnston: But, I thought you weren't gay?
Spottswoode: This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust!

Chris: Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it?
Gary Johnston: What's your problem with me?
Chris: Yeah, you wanna go?
Joe: Guys, guys, guys! Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do? The war is out there, man! Out there! Now, pull it together!

Gary Johnston: Your skills are fading with age, Mrs. Sarandon.
Susan Sarandon: You will die a peasant's death!

Gary Johnston: HOLY SHIT! What happened to the base?
Intelligence: It was destroyed by a socialist weasel.

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