Frank Cross: The Jews taught me this great word: Schmuck. I was a schmuck, and now I'm not a schmuck.
Frank Cross: I get it. You're taking me back in time to show me my mother and father, and I'm supposed to get all goosey and blubbery. Well, forget it, pal, you got the wrong guy.
Ghost of Christmas Past: That's exactly what Attila the Hun said. When he saw his mother... Niagara Falls.
Frank Cross: It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.
Frank Cross: We're gonna need champagne for 250 people, and send the stuff that you send to me. Don't send the stuff that I send to other people.
Frank Cross: Do you think I'm way off base here?
Elliot: Yes. You're, well, you're a tad off base, sir. That thing looked like The Manson Family Christmas Special.
Frank Cross: We have spent forty million dollars on a live TV show. You guys have got an ad with America's favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace!
Terry: It is what it is.
Vincent: "It is what it is"? Everyone's saying that now. You know what it means? You're screwed, and you shall remain screwed.
Zucko: Come on, Vinny! Why do you always have to do things the hard way?
Vincent: It's more interesting.
Zucko: And a lot more painful.
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