Clay Hammond: At some point, you have to choose between life and fiction. The two are very close, but they never actually touch.
Doc Holliday: Dave Rutabaugh is an ignorant scoundrel! I disapprove of his very existence. I considered ending it myself on several occasions but self-control got the better of me.
Warren Earp: Wyatt, you're still a marshal around here, aren't you?
Doc Holliday: Sure. But now he's going to be a marshal and an outlaw. Best of both worlds, son.
Frank Mclaury: You're next on my list, Holliday. You better get used to seeing my face, 'cause it's the last thing you're gonna see.
Doc Holliday: McLaury, seeing your face would be a pleasant change. I understand most of your enemies got it in the back.
Frank Beardsley: Well, Mrs. Munion, what do you think about Connecticut?
Mrs. Munion: I'm delighted to be here, in the birthplace of Lyme disease.
Otter Beardsley: I get the top bunk 'cause I'm older.
Ely Beardsley: By two minutes.
Frank Beardsley: When I was in, I always had the bottom bunk?
Otter Beardsley: Did the guy above you wet his bed?
Frank Beardsley: Good point. Sound off.
Kelly Beardsley: Three, four. Do they have girls' boxing at our new school?
Frank Beardsley: I hope not.
Michael Beardsley: Does not complaining about the move from San Diego count as my good dead for today?
Frank Beardsley: I'd sign off on that.
Ethan: Admiral, is this lady going to be our new mommy?
Frank Beardsley: I don't think so. It's just a blind date.
Otter Beardsley: She can't see?
Ely Beardsley: Can she navigate using sonar? Like a bat?
Helen North: We don't spank our children.
Michael Beardsley: The admiral does.
Frank Beardsley: Occasionally. A little pat on the butt sends a clear message.
Helen North: Well you're not spanking my children.
Frank Beardsley: I thought they were our children.
Helen North: You're not spanking our children.
Frank Beardsley: Okay, fine. Let's just let them all run naked and wild.
Harry Beardsley: Admiral, this is our twelfth move in my lifetime.
Frank Beardsley: I admire your record keeping Harry. First grade shifts log.
Frank Beardsley: Listen up. These are your schedules, with latrine times. You get seven minutes each, do not waste it.
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