Philo Beddoe: I'm not afraid of any man, but when it comes to sharing my feelings with a woman, my stomach turns to royal gelatin.
Joe: When a man with .45 meets a man with a rifle, you said, the man with a pistol's a dead man. Let's see if that's true. Go ahead, load up and shoot.
Joe: I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.
Joe: Every town has a boss.
Silvanito: Yes, but when there are two around, I'd say there is one too many.
Sancho Perez, Member of Indio's gang: Amigo why did you help me out?
Monco: Well that's such an high reward offered on all you gentlemen.That I thought I might just tag along on your next robbery.Might just turn you into the law.
Col. Douglas Mortimer: One from the outside one from the inside.There's no other way.One of us will have to join Indio's gang.
Monco: Why did you look at me when you said one of us?
Col. Douglas Mortimer: Because they don't know you.Wild sees me and his hump will catch on fire.
Monco: Tell me Colonel.How do you propose that I join up with Indio?Maybe bring him a bunch of roses.
Ben Shockley: Now, the next turkey who tries that, I'm gonna shoot him, stuff him, and stick an apple in his ass.
Ben Shockley: On a scale of one to ten, I'd have to give her a two, and that's because I haven't seen a one before.