Quotes from Richard Jenkins movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving Richard Jenkins - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.

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Miles Massey: All right, so much for the ice-breakers. What are you after, Freddy?
Freddy Bender: My client is prepared to settle for 50 percent of the marital assets.
Miles Massey: Why only 50, Freddy? Why not a hundred? While we're dreaming, why not 150? Are you familiar with "Kershner"?
Freddy Bender: "Kershner" does not apply.
Miles Massey: Bring this to trial, we'll see if "Kershner" applies.
Rex: What's "Kershner"?
Miles Massey: Please, let me handle this.
Freddy Bender: "Kershner" was in Kentucky.
Miles Massey: "Kershner" was in Kentucky?
Freddy Bender: "Kershner" was in Kentucky.
Miles Massey: All right, Freddy, forget "Kershner." What's your bottom line?
Freddy Bender: Primary residence,30 percent of remaining assets.
Miles Massey: What, are you nuts? Have you forgotten "Kershner"?

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Miles Massey: I guess something inside of me died, when I realised that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
Marylin Rexroth: Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
Freddy Bender: No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone.
Wrigley: Hear, hear.
Freddy Bender: Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house.
Wrigley: Miles's house.
Freddy Bender: Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.

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Giles: If I told you about her, what would I say? That they lived happily ever after? I believe they did. That they were in love? That they remained in love? I'm sure that's true. When I think of her - of Elisa - the only thing that comes to mind is a poem, whispered by someone in love, hundreds of years ago: "Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere."

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Giles: Oh! God, to be young and beautiful. If I could go back to when I was 18 - I didn't know anything about anything - I'd give myself a bit of advice.
Elisa: [Signing] What would you say?
Giles: I would say: Take better care of your teeth and fuck a lot more.

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Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!

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Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?
Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.
Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?!

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Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

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