Quotes from John C. Reilly movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving John C. Reilly - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Hank Marlow: Who's winning the war?
Captain James Conrad: Which one?
Hank Marlow: That makes sense, I guess.

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Hank Marlow: Kong's a pretty good king. Keeps to himself, mostly. This is his home, we're just guests. But you don't go into someone's house and start dropping bombs, unless you're picking a fight.

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Dale Doback: The clown has no penis!

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Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

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Dale Doback: Oprah, Barbra Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go!

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Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!

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Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!
Dale Doback: Well my drum set's a guy, so that makes you gay!

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Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

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Brennan: Favorite prehistoric dinosaur?
Brennan and Dale: Velociraptor!
Dale: Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to?
Brennan and Dale: Good Housekeeping!
Brennan: Who is one man that you would sleep with if you were a girl?
Brennan and Dale: John Stamos!
Dale: Oh my gosh.
Brennan: Did we just become best friends?
Dale: Yup.
Brennan: Wanna go do karate in the garage?
Dale: Yup.

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Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Hey y'all don't say that!

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[Waking up from dreams on top of each other.]
Dale Doback: Oh no, I'm late for school.
Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips Kenny Rodgers.

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Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

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Cal Naughton Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: Shake and bake!

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Wreck-It Ralph: It's hard to love your job, when no one else seems to like you for doing it.

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Wreck-It Ralph: You're a winner!
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm a winner...
Wreck-It Ralph: And you're adorable!
Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm ADORABLE!

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Vanellope: So how did I do?
Ralph: Well, you almost blew up the whole mountain.
Vanellope: Right, right. That's a good note.

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Wreck-It Ralph: When did video games get so violent? It's scary out here!

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Surge Protector: Name?
Wreck-It Ralph: Lara Croft.

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Vanellope von Schweetz: What's your name?
Wreck-It Ralph: Wreck-It Ralph.
Vanellope von Schweetz: Why are your hands so freakishly big?
Wreck-It Ralph: I don't know. Why are you so freakishly annoying?

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Wreck-It Ralph: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me.

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