Father James Lavelle: Leave home. Go somewhere where your chances of meeting available young women with loose morals are increased proportionately.
Milo Herlihy: Sligo town, d'you mean?
Father James Lavelle: No, I was thinking more: Dublin, London, New York.
Milo Herlihy: New York? I'd only end up getting the aids, knowing my luck. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Father. I can't say it's been of much help, but it's good to get these things out in the open, I suppose.
The Writer: You know how you can tell when you're really getting old?
Father James Lavelle: How?
The Writer: No-one ever says the word 'death' around you any more.
Father James Lavelle: I've always felt there's something inherently psychopathic about joining the army in peace time, as far as I'm concerned people join the army to find out what its like to kill someone. I hardly think that's an inclination that should be encouraged in modern society, do you?
Jack Van Meter: Get the hell down from there. While you're grandstanding here the city is starting to burn. Jimmy for Christ sakes.
Det. Sgt. Eldon Perry Jr.: If the city is starting to burn, Jack, it's partly because of guys like you and me. And I may be a goddamm alcoholic but that doesn't mean I can't tell the truth - and I've got all the deep deep dirt right here. Somebody put the cufs on me - let me start talking.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm Irish. Racism is part of my culture.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Listen, something's come up, and I'm not just talking about my cock.
[Moody writes on blackboard, with his back facing the students.]
Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: You should find another place for your gum rather than under your desk, Mr. Finnigan!
Seamus Finnigan: [Whispers at the back of the classroom.] Blimey, the old codger can see out of the back of his head!
[Moody spins around and throws a piece of chalk at Seamus across the classroom.]
Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: AND HEAR ACROSS CLASSROOMS!
Ken: You coming up?
Ray: What's up there?
Ken: Well, the view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world!
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I'd grown up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn't, so it doesn't!
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?. Still leaves you a cunt.
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