Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday?
Tom: Nope, all done.
McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations." So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well done."
Tom: Hmmm. How about..."Every day you make me proud. But today you get a card."
McKenzie: Shit, that's good!
Tom: I know.
Don Jon: There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.
Barbara: Movies and porn are different, Jon. They give awards for movies.
Don Jon: And they give awards for porn too.
Don Jon: For the next few minutes all the bullshit fades away and the only thing in the world is those tits... dat ass... the blowjob... the cowboy, the doggie, the money shot and that's it, I don't gotta say anything, I don't gotta do anything. I just fucking lose myself.
Danny: Listen, I don't like more than a handful of titty. No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like, no! Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.
Don Jon: Jesus Christ.
Bobby: Yeah, your mom do got some big-ass titties.
Danny: Don't talk about my mother.
Bobby: You brought up your mother.
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