Tom: Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?
Rachel Hansen: PMS?
Tom: What do you know about PMS?
Rachel Hansen: More than you, Tom.
Tom: It's these cards and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all lies and the heartache, everything.
Tom: Either she's an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or... She's a robot.
Tom: I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it.
Tom: People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel, or they're afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook.
Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.
Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.
Tom: You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife?
Tom: It's official. I'm in love with Summer. I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love how she licks her lips before she talks. I love her heart-shaped birthmark on her neck. I love it when she sleeps.
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday?
Tom: Nope, all done.
McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations." So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well done."
Tom: Hmmm. How about..."Every day you make me proud. But today you get a card."
McKenzie: Shit, that's good!
Tom: I know.
Don Jon: There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.
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