Quotes from Joseph Gordon-Levitt movies and TV shows

Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.

Adam: You should go.
Rachael: I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you.
Adam: No, seriously... You need to get the fuck off my porch.

Kyle: She doesn't blow you?
Adam: ...She doesn't like to.
Kyle: Of course she doesn't like to. No one likes putting a dick in their mouth.

Adam: See, but... That's bullshit. That's what everyone has been telling me since the beginning."Oh, you're gonna be okay, " and "Oh, everything's fine, " and like, it's not... It makes it worse... That no one will just come out and say it. Like, "hey man, you're gonna die."

Adam: That's what everybody's been saying: You'll feel better and don't worry and this is all fine and it's not.
Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.

Adam: What were you doing when I called? Were you on facebook?
Katherine: You know... Umm... Stalking my ex-boyfriend actually isn't the only thing I do in my free time.
Adam: I wish you were my girlfriend.
Katherine: Girlfriends can be nice. You just had a bad one.
Adam: I bet you'd be a good one.

More 50/50 quotes

Tom: Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?

Tom: Paul, seriously...
Paul: Did you bang her?
Tom: No!
Paul: Blow job?
Tom: No!
Paul: Hand job?
Tom: No, Paul, no jobs. I'm still unemployed. We just kissed.

Rachel Hansen: PMS?
Tom: What do you know about PMS?
Rachel Hansen: More than you, Tom.

Tom: It's these cards and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all lies and the heartache, everything.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Tom: Either she's an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or... She's a robot.

Tom: I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it.

Tom: People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel, or they're afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook.

Summer: We're just friends.
Tom: No! Don't pull that with me! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!

Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.

Tom: She took a giant shit on my face. Literally.
Alison: Literally?
Tom: Well, no, not literally. That's disgusting.

Tom: You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife?

More 500 Days of Summer quotes

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