Sandy Lyle: Check out her expression - she's terrified.
Reuben Feffer: She's smiling.
Sandy Lyle: I'm a student of acting, Ruben - she's fakin' it. The woman got spooked, she needed to explore, which is exactly what you're gonna do - you've been given the gift of freedom, don't turn you back on that.
Reuben Feffer: I don't want freedom, Sandy, I wanna be married.
Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.
Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.
Bunny: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: [Forced laughter.] Hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ahahaha. That's marvellous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
Zvi: You want me to steer Israel towards an arms deal with Egypt, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia?
Charlie Wilson: Yes.
Zvi: Well, just one or two problems with that, just off the top of my head.
Charlie Wilson: Zvi.
Zvi: Afghanistan and Pakistan don't recognize our right to exist, we just got done fighting a war against Egypt, and everyone who has ever tried to kill me or my family has been trained in Saudi Arabia.
Gust Avrakotos: That's not true, Zvi. Some of them were trained by us.
Charlie Wilson: What's the gift for?
Gust Avrakotos: It's from the Afghan desk for doubling the budget for the Mujahadeen.
Charlie Wilson: Well, thank you.
Gust Avrakotos: It was nothing.
Charlie Wilson: It's a nice bottle of scotch. Must have been hard to get.
Gust Avrakotos: No, doubling the budget was nothing. Ten million dollars for covert ops against the Russian army is meaningless. What are you, an infant?
Gust Avrakotos: As long as the press sees sex and drugs behind the left hand, you can park a battle carrier behind the right hand and no-one's gonna fucking notice.
Charlie Wilson: How old are you?
Mike Vickers: I'll be 30 next week.
Charlie Wilson: This is CIA's weapons expert?
Gust Avrakotos: One of them.
Charlie Wilson: But he's the most senior.
Gust Avrakotos: Look.
Chess Player #1: Mike.
Mike Vickers: Yeah, bishop to queen's knight 7.
Gust Avrakotos: See, he's playing without even looking at the board.
Charlie Wilson: That's a useful skill... if Afghanistan's ever invaded by Boris Spassky.
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah, well I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which you're a douche bag?
Gust Avrakotos: Promises were made.
Cravely: Not by me.
Gust Avrakotos: I've been with the company for twenty-four years. I was posted in Greece for fifteen. I've advised and armed the Hellenic Army. I've neutralized champions of communism. I've spent the past three years... learning Finnish! Which would come in handy here in Virginia, and I'm never ever sick at sea. So I wanna know why... I'm not gonna be your Helsinki station chief.
Charlie Wilson: You mean to tell me that the U.S. strategy in Afghanistan is to have the Afghans keep walking into machine gun fire 'til the Russians run out of bullets?
Gust Avrakotos: That's Harold Holt's strategy, it's not U.S. strategy.
Charlie Wilson: What is U.S. strategy?
Gust Avrakotos: Well, strictly speaking, we don't have one. But we're working hard on that.
Charlie Wilson: Who's 'we'?
Gust Avrakotos: Me and three other guys.
Joanne Herring: May I ask what it is that I've done to make you dislike me, Mr. Avrakotos?
Gust Avrakotos: I like you just fine, Mrs. Herring, it's just been my experience that when people with money and too much free time get involved in politics, pretty soon, I forget who it is I'm supposed to be shooting at.
Joanne Herring: He may be in trouble with the press, but he stayed out of jail. You don't see God's hand in this?
Gust Avrakotos: Well reasonable people can disagree, but I don't see God anywhere within miles of this. On the other hand, if you slept with me tonight, I bet you I could change my mind in a hurry.
Gust Avrakotos: You know, me and three other guys are killing Russians. Is it possible that I met the only elected official in town who can help me?
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