M. Gustave: What is a lobby boy? A lobby boy is completely invisible, but always in sight. A lobby boy remembers what people hate. A lobby boy anticipates the client's needs before the needs are needed. A lobby boy is, above all, discreet to a fault. Our guests know that their deepest secrets, some of which are frankly rather unseemly, will go with us to our graves. So keep your mouth shut, Zero.
Madame D.: Come with me.
M. Gustave: To fucking Lutz?
Madame D.: Please!
M. Gustave: Give me your hand. You've nothing to fear. You're always anxious before you travel. I admit you appear to be suffering a more acute attack on this occasion, but truly and honestly... Oh dear God, what have you done to your fingernails?
Madame D.: I beg your pardon?
M. Gustave: This diabolical varnish - the color is completely wrong!
Madame D.: Oh really? Don't you like it?
M. Gustave: It's not that I don't like it...I am physically repulsed.
Zero: Do you have an alibi?
M. Gustave: Of course, but she's married to the Duke of Westphalia. I can't allow her name to get mixed up in all this monkey business.
Zero: Monsieur Gustave, your life may be at stake.
M. Gustave: I know! The bitch legged it! She's already on board the Queen Nasstasja, halfway to Dutch Tanganyika.
M. Gustave: There's really no point in doing anything in life because it's all over in the blink of an eye, and the next thing you know, rigor mortis sets in.
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?. Still leaves you a cunt.
Harry: Not only have you let the kid get away and failed to kill the kid, you have also prevented the kid from killin' himself, which would have solved all my problems, it would have solved all your problems, and it probably would have solved all of his problems!
Ken: It wouldn't have solved his problems, Harry.
Harry: I mean, basically, if you're robbing a man, and you're only carrying blanks, and you allow your gun to be taken off you, and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank, for which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, yeah, really it's all your fault for being such a poof.
Moon King: You want to be human? Then share their weakness. Suffer their humiliation. Feel their pain.
Joe: How far does a man have to go to be thought so dangerous that he needs to be locked away, physically separated from the rest of the world, behind stone walls and iron bars? Clearly, it is a last resort.
Alfred Pennyworth: Were you looking at the old family pictures again?
Batman: At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gang. Yeah. No, I wasn't.
Alfred Pennyworth: I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?
Batman: I don't talks about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred.
Alfred Pennyworth: Sir, it's morning.
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