Quotes from Mike Myers movies and TV shows - page 4 of 5

Charlie Mackenzie: No, not really. Usually I follow the Judao-Christian ethic of "Thou shalt not kill." But, that's just me.

Charlie Mackenzie: I'm afraid you're gonna ki - leave me.
Harriet Michaels: That I'm gonna cleave you?

Charlie Mackenzie: I like the night life. I like to boogie.

May Mackenzie: Charlie, would you like a juice?
May Mackenzie: Look at what I've bought myself, a Juice Tiger.
Charlie Mackenzie: A Juice Tiger?
May Mackenzie: Yes, I juice everything now.
May Mackenzie: I'm on a new diet.
May Mackenzie: I'm on a Weekly World News Garth Brooks Juice Diet.

Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.
Harriet: No.
Charlie Mackenzie: Please?

Charlie Mackenzie: Tell me one bad thing that you've done, and it better be evil.
Harriet Michaels: How evil?
Charlie Mackenzie: Really evil. Like so evil, that you would say it was E-VEEL, like it's the FRU-ETS of the DEV-EEL. E-VEEL.

Harriet Michaels: So bright women intimidate you?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. But it's a shame I'm going to have to destroy you.

Charlie Mackenzie: How many people have you brutally murdered?
Harriet Michaels: Well, brutal's a very subjective word. I mean, what's brutal to one person might be totally reasonable to somebody else.

Charlie Mackenzie: Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you gotta believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Betty, Judy, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they make me horny, Saturday morny... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Hey Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.

Harriet Michaels: I have a surprise for you.
Charlie Mackenzie: What is it?
Harriet Michaels: It's a health shake. And I made it especially for you. Try it.
Charlie Mackenzie: Thank you, no. Thanks. Thanks.

Charlie Mackenzie: Woman! Woah-man! Wooaahhhhh-man! We had love, not just sex. Is she Mrs. X? I had to run for my life... Jane, get me off this crazy thing called love.

Rose Michaels: Well... you know Harriet.
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually, I don't.
Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.
Charlie Mackenzie: Hello.

May Mackenzie: Wow, you've turned into a right sexy wee bastard. Do you know that?
Tony Giardino: Thanks, Mrs. Mackenzie.
May Mackenzie: Hasn't he?
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh, I think so.

Tony Giardino: Larry Leonard, crooner, made a name for himself being able to sing in six different languages the song, "Only You.
Charlie Mackenzie: Yes, see?
Tony Giardino: Charlie, does Harriett even know the words to Only You?
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I don't know Tony, we haven't reached that all too critical do you know the words to "Only You" phase in our relationship, so I'm afraid I'm not much help.

Charlie Mackenzie: Come, let us dance like children of the night.

Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy's heed.
Tony Giardino: Shhh.
Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony Giardino: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.
Tony Giardino: Shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: Has it's own weather system.
Tony Giardino: Sh, sh, shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: Head! move.

Stuart Mackenzie: Let's get pissed.

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, we have a piper who's down. It's all right, he's just pissed. We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down.

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.

Stuart Mackenzie: Thirty years ago today, May and I were married. Some of you were there, some of you weren't born, and some of you are now deed! But, we both said "I do," and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.
May Mackenzie: That's true.
Stuart Mackenzie: But I'm glad I married you, May, because hey, could've been worse.

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