Mike Myers

Quotes from Mike Myers movies and TV shows - page 3 of 5

Guru Pitka: Tonawanda street? I know this street.
Darren Roanoke: You do?
Guru Pitka: Yes. At what number did you live?
Darren Roanoke: Fifty-three.
Guru Pitka: Did you know a Dickie Withers at 85?
Darren Roanoke: No?
Guru Pitka: Well, it does. A dickie does wither at 85. I own you! Yeah! You are laughing! You see, you are filled with joy of a child.

More The Love Guru quotes

Shrek: Who sent you here?
Little pig: Lord Farquad did. He huffed and he puffed and he... Signed an eviction notice.

Ssiscool Premium member

Shrek: Ogres are like... Onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes-No.
Donkey: They make you cry?
Shrek: Nooo!
Donkey: Oh, you put them out in the sun, they turn brown, start sprouting little hairs.
Shrek: Noooooooo!

Fiona: Wait! Where are you going? The exit's over there.
Shrek: Well, I have to save my ass.
Fiona: What kind of knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

Donkey: Hi, Princess!
Princess Fiona: It talks!
Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

Donkey: You, uh... You don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence... [big awkward silence.].

More Shrek quotes

[Donkey, Shrek, and Puss in Boots have just been arrested.]
Donkey: What about my rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I had to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.

Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: NO.

More Shrek 2 quotes

Donkey: What in the shestershire is this place?
Shrek: Well, my stomach's aching and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school.

Shrek: Fiona, try to be reasonable. Have you seen a baby lately? All they do is eat and poop, and then they cry, and they cry when they poop, and poop when they cry. Now imagine an ogre baby. They extra cry, and they extra poop.

Artie: And so, people, I hope you enjoy your stay in prison, while I rule the free world, baby.
Shrek: All right, don't overdo it.
Artie: I'm building my city, people, on rock 'n' roll.
Shrek: You just overdid it.

Shrek: Good morning.
Princess Fiona: Good morning. Ooh, morning breath.
Shrek: Yeah. Isn't it wonderful?

Shrek: That's right, I'm the new mascot. So let's really try and beat the other guys at whatever it is they are doing.

Shrek: If Artie trusts him, I trust him, even if his cloak doesn't completely cover his.

Donkey: They grow up so fast.
Shrek: Not fast enough.

Artie: You know, Shrek, you're all right. You just need to do a little less yelling, and use more soap.
Shrek: Thanks, Artie.
Artie: The soap is because you stink. Really bad.
Shrek: Yeah, I got that.

Shrek: Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you.

More Shrek 3 quotes

Shrek: You know, I always thought I'd rescued you from the Dragon's Keep.
Princess Fiona: You did.
Shrek: No. It was you who rescued me.

Donkey: Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
Shrek: Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire breathing dragon and you have little mutant donkey dragon babies?
Donkey: I do?
Shrek: You saw what happened. She's going to think I'm crazy.
Donkey: I'm a daddy?

More Shrek Forever After quotes

Charlie Mackenzie: Harriet. Harry-ette. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher. Un-trust... ing. Un-know... ing. Un-love... ed?"He wants you back," he screamed into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire... except the passion of his heart. I am lonely. It's really hard. This poem... sucks.

More So I Married an Axe Murderer quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.