Austin Powers: Who throws a shoe? Honestly. You fight like a woman.
Austin Powers: Jimi Hendrix, deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin, deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass, deceased, ham sandwich.
Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet Daddy's nemesis: Austin Powers.
Scott: What, are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: No Scott, I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an over-elaborate and exotic death.
Scott: Why don't you just shoot him now? I mean, I'll go get a gun. We'll shoot him together. It'll be fun. Bang. Dead. Done.
Dr. Evil: One more peep out of you and you are grounded, mister, and I am not joking.
[Dr. Evil has just shown a huge drill to Austin and Vanessa.]
Austin Powers: Does that make you horny?
Vanessa: Not now, Austin.
Austin Powers: Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes, please!
Ivana Humpalot: My name is Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Ivana Humpalot: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now, is it?
Dr. Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.
Dr. Evil [Deep Voice.]: Austin, I am your father.
Dr. Evil: No, I can't back that up.
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
Darren Roanoke: How can you be the Love Guru if you've never been in a relationship?
Guru Pitka: Well, there is someone I like. But until I learn to love myself, I can only go out with three girls named Ann.
Darren Roanoke: Three girls named Ann?
Guru Pitka: Yeah. Ann Visible, Ann Flatable, and Ann Job.
Guru Pitka: Intimacy is like putting your wiener on a table and having someone say "That looks like a penis... only smaller."
Guru Pitka: Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle. Tickle, tickle.
Guru Pitka: It's a problem. Even Jay-Zed had 99 of them, and the bitch was not one of them.
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