Rufus: In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid? Hell no. And I was in my prime. I could've been knee-deep in shepherd's daughters, not to mention fine-ass Mary Magdalene. She had a thing for dark meat, if you follow me.
Richard Cooper: You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Richard Cooper: When two people admit that they are attracted to each other, they are no longer in control. Their relationship has to play itself out. For better or for worse.
Lee Butters: Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. Afghanastan. I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to their Afghan ass for three hours! I won't talk to my daddy for three hours!
Leo Getz: Hey Riggs, who's the perp? What did ya bust him for?
Lee Butters: Oh, I'm a perp? You see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp. Look at my suit, look at my tie. What do I look like, the fuckin' Crip's accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun.
Wesley: Did you have a good time? Did you make a wish? Get in touch with your blackness? Found your Betty... well, at least where she has been hanging out.
Charlie: Where? Where is she?
Wesley: Not telling you.
Wesley: Not telling you till you straighten up. Danced around like fucking bo-jangles out there, what the fuck? This has got to stop, and I mean it.
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