Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.
Longfellow Deeds: Whoa... that's the first time I've heard you curse.
Babe: I'm that excited.
Longfellow Deeds: I bet if we ran into the sixth grade version of ourselves, they'd give us wet willies and put bubble gum in our hair for even thinking about doing this.
Shareholder: He's right! I would've beaten my greedy ass red.
Shareholder: I would've thrown myself off the merry-go-round.
Shareholder: I would've duct tape myself naked to a chair and burnt myself with lit cigarettes.
Longfellow Deeds: Did anyone dream of becoming a psychiatrist? Just kidding.
Chuck Cedar: He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture, it'll be all over the news in an hour.
Longfellow Deeds: Well, he deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled.
Chuck Cedar: No, he deserves to get his throat cut. Filthy spy.
Nick Spitz: You're an actress, right?
Grace Ballard: All women are actresses, dear. I'm just clever enough to get paid for it.
John Clasky: They should name a gender after you.
John Clasky: Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense.
John Clasky: And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything.
John Clasky: And all of that and you're you.
John Clasky: It's just that you are drop dead crazy gorgeous.
John Clasky: So much so, that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here.
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