Michael Newman: Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.
Michael Newman: Yes! Look at me. All showered and dressed and looking sexy. I like that. I.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: Did you smoke crack, Daddy?
Michael Newman: Samantha, is that you? When did you get boobs?
Samantha at 14 Years Old: Same time you did, Dad.
Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology that we have in this place.
Michael Newman: Sounds sweet.
Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
Michael Newman: Ooh. I guess the O'Doyles' remote can kiss my advanced-technological ass then.
Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles, but... they can bite it hard.
Eleanor Duvall: They were giving out free lobster bibs in the bathroom.
Whitey: That's not a lobster bib Eleanore its a germ protector for your tushey.
Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.
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