Coach Norton: When are you going to get hitched there, son?
J.D.: Actually I'm not, I'm GAY.
Coach Norton: Oh... me too.
J.D.: Hey Sandy! It's me, JD, I went to high school with you, remember?
Sandy: Um, no I don't think I recall.
J.D.: Yeah, c'mon. Remember? I went to prom with a tux painted on my naked body?
J.D.: Yeah! And then I spilled punch on myself and everyone could see my dong?
Sandy: No, JD, I really.
J.D.: Oh yeah! We had chemistry together and I tried to light a fart with the Bunsen burner and I ended up singeing my balls... still can't grow hair on my left nut. Sucks.
Jill: Hal... I'm not attracted to you.
Hal: So what? What, you think that everyone who goes out are always attracted to each other? Get real.
Hal: Hey, if you can see something and hear it and smell it, what keeps it from being real?
Mauricio: Third Party Perspective.
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