Bartleby Gaines: Does the run-of-the-mill college experience include stripping you of your dignity? Totally humiliating you, making you wear a... a... frigging hot dog suit?
Sherman Schrader: It's a tradition.
Bartleby Gaines: A tradition?
Sherman Schrader: Yes.
Bartleby Gaines: I've got a tradition for you. Schrader, you've been my best friend since we were 5 years old. That's the only tradition I know.
Rory: Ever since nursery school, every single waking moment of every single day has been scheduled. So what do I want to do? Nothing.
Bartleby Gaines: Cheap, zen, beautiful. I like it.
Bartleby Gaines: Schrader, come on. Don't be scared.
Sherman Schrader: Scared? I'm not scared. You're scared.
Hands: Schrader, you were scared to try the new flavor of Dr. Pepper.
Sherman Schrader: I told you that in confidence Hands.
Bartleby Gaines: Schrader, you were afraid when you're tooth fell out because you were terrified of the Tooth Fairy.
Sherman Schrader: That's actually a legitimate fear. She was rifling through my shit.
Bartleby Gaines: Hey Rory, hows it goin? What's wrong?
Rory: I... I... I - I didn't get into Ya - I didn't get into... I-I-I I didn't get into Yal - I didn't get into Yale.
Bartleby Gaines: What? Why not?
Rory: Well, there's no room for Rory at Yale! No, too many mediocre rich kids with well-connected parents.
Jack Gaines: Listen, I took another look at that website, what's all this be-what-you-wanna-be-crap?
Bartleby Gaines: Oh no no, dad they just have to say stuff like that just to keep from being sued.
Jack Gaines: Yeah well it sounds like a bunch of crap to me.
Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.
Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?
Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.
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