Patricia: Yes! I love you. I can feel my heart. I feel like I'm going crazy. You just can't die and leave me here in this stinking earth without you.
Joe Banks: I have less than six months to live. The Waponis believe they need a human sacrifice or their island is going to sink into the ocean. They have this mineral your father wants so he hired me to leap into their volcano.
Joe Banks: You're not going to make me say that again, are you?
Patricia: I wonder where we'll end up?
Joe Banks: Away from the things of man, my love. Away from the things of man.
Patricia: You're afraid of the commitment? You're gonna have to love and honor me for about 30 seconds.
Patricia: My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.
Peter Hoskins: What goes into one, Rita? A Long Island Iced Tea?
Rita Boyle: I'm sorry darling, I've forgotten.
Peter Hoskins: What, do you have it all written down behind the bar or something?
Rita Boyle: I'm on vacation.
Peter Hoskins: So you can't remember a drink recipe for something that I would like to order?
Rita Boyle: Peter, you're doing it again. You take a perfect situation and you pee all over it.
Louise: A relationship ending is like a death just two people know about. A whole life gets lost, everything we did together. All the places we traveled, the fights, the small moments of tenderness.
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror.
Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment.
Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman. What they could do to make it easier is combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.
Sally Albright: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.
Harry Burns: With whom did you have this great sex?
Sally Albright: I'm not going to tell you that.
Harry Burns: Fine, don't tell me.
Sally Albright: Shel Gordon.
Harry Burns: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.
Sally Albright: I did too.
Harry Burns: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man... But humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me Sheldon, you're an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.' Doesn't work.