Mark Rumsfield: I know you're in there, old man! Listen up, mister! That piece of scum barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my lawn! I find one more - just one - I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut.
The Detective: A friend of yours told me where to find you in the middle of the day.
The Driver: I don't have any friends.
The Detective: That's right. No friends. No steady job. No girlfriend. You live real cheap, you never ask any questions... boy, you got it down real tight. So tight that there's no room for anything else. And that's a real sad song. Only trouble is, eh, sad songs ain't sellin' this year. Maybe I'm your friend.
The Detective: I respect a man that's good at what he does. I'll tell you something, I'm very good at what I do.
The Detective: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna catch me the cowboy that's never been caught. Cowboy desperado.
Sheriff Ed Galt: You know something amigo? I think I just spotted a chink in your armor. When you go down... it's going be over a skirt.
Woody Grant: I won a million dollars.
ER Doctor: Congratulations, that'll just about pay for a day in the hospital.
Woody Grant: This was my parents' room. I got whipped if they found me in here. I guess nobody's gonna whip me now.