Quotes from Martin Lawrence movies and TV shows
Below are some quotes involving Martin Lawrence - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.
Instructor: Impressive shooting, Montgomery. You realize though, that you missed the target in the middle?
Earl Montgomery: Who, the brother? Oh I wasn't shooting at him.
Instructor: Mind telling me why not?
Earl Montgomery: He don't look suspicious, to me. Look at'em. One lone brother, surrounded by four white guys with guns? The man is terrified. What you want him to do, tap dance? Don't worry brother, I got you. Don't be afraid to dial 911. I keeps it clean, when Earl Montgomery's on the scene. What the problem is?
Lawyer: So Mr. Montgomery, are you claiming there was no bumblebee present at the time of the incident?
Earl Montgomery: No, I'm not. There was a bumblebee present, man.
Lawyer: Oh, good.
Earl Montgomery: And there were birds chirpin'. There were dogs barkin'. Hell, for all I know, there was a chipmunk in the bushes, humping a turtle! You know you gotta be careful with them chipmunks. They'll hump anything!
Earl Montgomery: Ah I see how this works. The system can't tolerate a black man with superior police skills, huh? It's the future of law enforcement, and it scares you... Because you'll be out of work! Right? Look, I remember when the NBA was all white. That's all right, that's all right. I'm fine, I'm cool. Because y'all losing somebody good, though! I'm a virtual, one man, Kung-Fu S.W.A.T. Team! Dah! Yawh! That's all right. I got skills!. YOU BITCHES!
Hank Rafferty: Need some help?
Earl Montgomery: You asking me if I need some help, or if... If I'm stealing this car?
Hank Rafferty: Okay, fine. Are you stealing this car?
Earl Montgomery: Does it look like I'm stealing this damn car?
Hank Rafferty: Little bit.
Earl Montgomery: Why? Because I'm black? White man has his hand in the car, you probably give him a Good Samaritan award, huh? Figure he's just going around turning off people's lights.