Quotes from Martin Lawrence movies and TV shows

Marcus Burnett: You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.
Mike Lowrey: You ever made love to a man?
Reggie: No.
Mike Lowrey: You want to?

Marcus Burnett: My ass still hurts from what you did to it the other night.
Mike Lowrey: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus Burnett: When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves.

Marcus Burnett: Mike, I can't even get an erection. I tried taking Viagra. Popped one, popped two. I've been eating them like Skittles.

Marcus Burnett: You see that?
Mike Lowrey: They throwin' cars! How'd I not see that?
Marcus Burnett: Hey, Mike, I'm just trying to be helpful.
Mike Lowrey: Hey, you'd know what would be fuckin' helpful, Marcus? Just shut the fuck up and let me drive, let's try that!

Marcus Burnett: I think we just broke the record for the number of gun fights in one week.

More Bad Boys II quotes

Ben: I've been waiting on this moment ever since I first laid eyes on you.
Malcolm Turner: Ben, whatever you started in that bed, trust me, you're going to finish alone.

Sherry: Oh, it's so good to see you, Big Momma. I thought you may forgotten all about me.
Malcolm Turner: Shut your mouth, child. Oh, Big Momma could never forget that ass.
Sherry: What?
Malcolm Turner: ...ma. Asthma. Do you remember you had asthma?

More Big Momma's House quotes

Big Momma: Boy, you must be stuck on stupid.

Big Momma: This is a family beach, not Chippendales.

Big Momma: What do we want Mrs. Fuller?
Leah Fuller: Umm... more butt?

Leah Fuller: If you'd checked the schedule you would've seen that Carrie had a violin lesson, and Andrew had tutoring.
Malcolm: Tutoring? He's only 2 years old.

More Big Momma's House 2 quotes

Big Momma: Child, Like my Aunt Yorima used to say: Its better to be alone with yourself for the rest of your life, than to be together with bad company for a minute.

Malcolm: I'm not even wearing a clean pair of Granny panties.

More Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son quotes

Miles Logan: Yo tengo el gato los pantalones.
Carlson: You just said you have a cat in your pants.

Miles Logan: Damn. What happened? Did you eat the whole time I was in there? Wait a minute, that's all right. I can adjust, it's the love that counts. I can adjust to a plus size woman, just more cushion for the pushing.
Shawna: Janiece! Your sad-ass sack of bones is here.
Miles Logan: I apologize, you're her cousin. Can I buy you some cereal?

Miles Logan: Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.

Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
Tulley: Chicken or beef?
Miles Logan: Chicken. Cool. Cool is good.
Tulley: Miles?
Miles Logan: Tulley? What are you doing?
Tulley: I'm freaking working over here.

Miles Logan: Diaz, is it? Diaz?
Detective Diaz: With a 'Z'.

More Blue Streak quotes

Bilal: Kick your bitch to the curb and let me ride with my equipment! I'm the DJ.
LaDonna: Bitch? Who you callin' a bitch? Your mama's a sorry bitch.
Bilal: Hey, my mama ain't no bitch.
LaDonna: If I'm a bitch, your mama's a bitch.
Bilal: Hey, I'll kick your ass. I'll fight a girl.
LaDonna: I know. I heard your ass was beat by a couple.

More House Party quotes

Claude Banks: You know what you probably just slow me down.
Rayford Gibson: How I'ma slow yo slow ass down.

More Life quotes

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