Quotes from Keanu Reeves movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving Keanu Reeves - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant, the truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
Bill: Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don't really even know how to play?
Bill: That is why we NEED Eddie Van Halen.
Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video.
Bill/Ted: Excellent.

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Teacher: Ted, who was Joan of Arc?
Ted: Noah's wife?

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Bill: How's it going, royal ugly dudes? I am the Earl of Preston.
Ted: And I am the Duke of Ted.
King Henry: Put them in the iron maiden.
Bill and Ted: Iron Maiden? Excellent!

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John Constantine: When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most people would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.
Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself.
John Constantine: I didn't "try" anything.

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Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.

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John Constantine: So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all but...I'm hoping to get enough to insure my retirement.
Angela Dodson: I don't understand.
John Constantine: I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die the rules say I got just one place to go.
Angela Dodson: You're trying to buy your way into heaven.
John Constantine: What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison where half the inmates were put there by you?

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John Constantine: I did tell you to move the car.
Chaz: Yeah, well if you'd have told me that there was going to be a 300 pound mirror with a pissed off demon inside it falling from a window, I would've moved it further, John.

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Angela Dodson: Well, this has been real educational... But I don't believe in the devil.
John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.

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Polygraph Operator: I'm going to ask you a series of control questions. Are you currently in a seated position?
Klaatu: Yes.
Polygraph Operator: Are you human?
Klaatu: My body is.
Polygraph Operator: Do you feel pain?
Klaatu: My body does.
Polygraph Operator: Are you aware of an impending attack on the planet earth?
Klaatu: You should let me go.

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Klaatu: There are some things I can't do.
Jacob Benson: But you have powers.
Klaatu: I'm sorry.
Jacob Benson: Please. Please!
Klaatu: Jacob, nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed.
Jacob Benson: Just leave me alone.

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Klaatu: If the Earth dies, you die. If the human race dies, the Earth survives.

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Jacob Benson: I told Helen we should kill you.
Klaatu: Yes, I heard that.
Jacob Benson: I didn't mean it though.
Klaatu: You didn't?
Jacob Benson: Well not anymore. So what's going to happen to us?
Klaatu: I was just wondering the same thing.

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John Wick: People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer, but yeah, I'm thinking I'm back.

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John Wick: You can either hand over your son, or you can die screaming next to him.

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Viggo Tarasov: What happened, John?.. We're professionals... Civilized.
John Wick: Do I look civilized to you?

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John Wick: Whoever comes, I'll kill them. I'll kill them all.
Winston: Of course you will.

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Julius: I fail to recall the last time you were in Rome. And here I had heard you had returned.
John Wick: I have.
Julius: Then humor me with but one question. Are you here for the pope?
Julius: No.

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John Wick: Consider it a professional courtesy.

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Bowery King: Oh and remember! You owe me.
John Wick: You don't want me owing you.

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Winston: What have you done?
John Wick: Finished it.

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