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BJ: Radar, old buddy, looking at you is like looking at money in the bank
Radar: All the other tents, they just say 'hello'
BJ: Would you like to join us?
Radar: What are you playing?
Hawkeye: Double Kranko
Hawkeye: Uh, bishops are worth three jacks...
Hawkeye: Checkers are wild...
Hawkeye: And...you have to be twenty-one or older to open
BJ: Care to sit in for a hand?
Hawkeye: You'll get out by dawn.
Radar: Ah, no, thank you, sirs. Whenever I lose, I like to know why.
Frank: [after Hawkeye hits him] Captain Pierce, I accuse you of striking a superior officer. A court-martial offense under the Articles of War. And I have two witnesses!
Trapper: [to Hawkeye] I didn't see anything, did you?
Hawkeye: My back was turned. [Drops towel in Frank's face.] BA-DUM-BUMP!
Trapper: Case dismissed.