Murphy: Pork chop, Pork chop. Greasy, Greasy. We beat your team, fuckin easy easy. whooo Go Wombats.
Rick Reynolds: I don' think that went as bad as you think it did. She'll make a ruling in a few days. Who knows, she may even surprise us.
Elliot Anderson: I couldn't have been a worse witness if I tried. No way in hell she's not gonna take Eloise away from me. Not a shot in hell.
Rick Reynolds: Ah, come on, you were great. Not a lot of the other Klan members could be that articulate.
Elliot Anderson: So sweet of him to bring Eloise over for a crack-smoking field trip, but she has to get home now to do her homework.
Duvan Araga: Have you thought about learning a new language? When I am low, or in a place in my life where I cannot make things happen the way I want them to happen, sometimes to busy myself, I teach myself a new language. It really seems to help me feel more at ease. Even if truly I am just distracted.
Elliot Anderson: Duvan, tell me the truth, what planet are you living on, okay. I'm not gonna report you, I just would like to know.
Frank Farmer: We're adding to your duties. You're my new assistant.
Henry: Says who?
Frank Farmer: Henry, I've spent a lot of time guarding people all over the world, and I've found one thing to be true - no matter how incompetent the assassins, no matter how much they miss their target, there's always one person who always gets hit.
Frank Farmer: The cocky black chauffeur.
Crash Davis: I wouldn't dig in if I was you. Next one might be at your head. I don't know where it's gonna go. Swear to God.
Crash Davis: Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob.
Crash Davis: This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
Umpire: Call me a cocksucker again, and you're outta here.
Crash Davis: You're a cocksucker.
Umpire: You're... outta.
Larry: Whoa! What the fuck is that?