Max Keller: Get in my way again and I'll kill ya.
Mark Kaminsky: I hope your not your mother's only child.
Art Ridzik: Captain Danko, congratulations. You are now the proud owner of the most powerful handgun in the world.
Ivan Danko: Soviet Podbyrin, nine-point-two milimeter, is world's most powerful handgun.
Art Ridzik: Oh, come on, everybody knows the .44 Magnum is the big boy on the block. Why do you think Dirty Harry uses it?
Ivan Danko: Who is Dirty Harry?
Commander Lou Donnelly CPD: Since I figure cops are cops the world over, how do you Soviets deal with all the tension and stress?
Ivan Danko: Vodka.
Laughlin: Who the hell is this?
Ben Richards: She's the one who turned me in at the airport. Guess this is her reward.
Amber: Oh, go ahead. Make jokes. It's all your fault I'm here. They think I'm helping you out. They even think I'm your girlfriend.
Ben Richards: I can straighten that out. You see that camera up there? I'll strangle you in front of the whole audience.
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