Dr. John Becker: The world is full of idiots, and someone needs to point it out to them or they will never know.
Dr. John Becker: Romance is like the cheese in the mousetrap - it baits you into position, so the cold, metal bar of reality can come down and snap your neck.
Bob: I was doing some research on the internet.
Dr. John Becker: Must have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
Bob: One shock at a time.
Dr. John Becker: If you and I were the only people on the face of the Earth, that would be the only thing we'd have in common.
Dr. John Becker: That's the problem with the world, everybody says "Everybody does it," so everybody does it.
Margaret: So someone finally shot you.
Dr. John Becker: I always thought it would be you, Margaret.
Margaret: So did I.
Frasier's Mother: [Referring to Diane.] I understand you used to date that woman.
Sam Malone: That's right.
Frasier's Mother: How much would it take to start things up again?
Sam Malone: You don't have enough money.
Frasier's Mother: How do you know?
Sam Malone: There isn't enough money.
Sam: What's new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer.
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