Minnie Mogul: I can't sign a contract that will help three ruthless villains take over the world. I just can't.
Fearless Leader, Boris, and Natasha: Why not?
Minnie: My pen's out of ink.
Karen Flores: I think you could be an actor.
Chili Palmer: Well, I could see myself in the parts that Robert De Niro plays. Or maybe even, an Al Pacino movie, you know, playing a real hard-on. But I couldn't see myself in those movies where three grown-up guys get left with a baby, and so they act like three grown-up assholes, acting all cute.
Karen Flores: Chili, Chili, look at me.
Karen Flores: I know I'm better than what I've been doing all these years, walking around in fuck-me pumps and a tank-top, waiting until it was time to scream.
Chili Palmer: Yeah, but what a scream.
Karen Flores: Oh yeah, it's a real talent. Look, all I'm saying is, what I wouldn't give for the chance to say one really great line. You know, like in that great Bette Davis movie where she says, "I'd kiss you... "
Chili Palmer: "But I just washed my hair."
Molly: Is this normal for him?
Earl: Well, the words "normal" and "him" don't often collide in the same sentence.
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