Quotes from Ben Stiller movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving Ben Stiller - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.

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White Goodman: Here at Globo Gym we're better than you, and we know it.

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White Goodman: Fuckin' Chuck Norris.

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White Goodman: At Globo Gym we understand that "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness, or necrophilia.

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Kate Veatch: That... Is a really interesting painting.
White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me taking a bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.
Kate Veach: I get it.
White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.

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White Goodman: There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.

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White Goodman: I'm white. I'm white. W-H-I-T. E.

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Orderly: All right, turn your hearing aids up. I got great news. We're extending arts and crafts by 4 hours today.
Elderly lady: My fingers hurt.
Orderly: What's that?
Elderly lady: My fingers hurt.
Orderly: Oh, well now your back's gonna hurt, cuz you just pulled landscaping duty. Anyone else's fingers hurt? Didn't think so.

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Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.
Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You're in my world now, grandma.

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Jack Byrnes: Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker: To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes: Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker: Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes: That's disgusting.

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Jack Byrnes: I'm watching you.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I have eyes too, so I'll be watching you... Watching me.

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Greg Focker: He's not a doctor.
Kevin Rawley: Not in the Western sense of the word.
Greg Focker: Not in *any* sense of the word.

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Marty: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
Alex: The penguins are psychotic.

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Alex: What are you doing? Zebras can't drive. Only penguins and people can drive!

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Alex: I wanna prove to my dad that I'm a *real* lion.
Marty: As opposed to what, a *chocolate* lion?

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Larry Daley: This is the Smithsonian! This is the big leagues!

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Larry Daley: I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country. So...
Smithsonian Security Guard: No, we don't.
Larry Daley: No?
Smithsonian Security Guard: It's the United States of "Don't Touch That Thing Right in Front of You."

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Sir Lancelot: You always put the monkey in charge?
Larry Daley: Oh, he's not in charge, we're just following him.
Sir Lancelot: That's what being in charge means.

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Walter Mitty: To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.

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Trawler Captain: You have at least a minute before you freeze.
Walter Mitty: What?
Trawler Captain: You are safe.

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