Mona Hibbard: I don't know if I want to be a pretend role model to thousands of little girls... or a real role model to one.
Bernadette 'Benny' Hogan: You mustn't mess me about. I know I may look like a rhinoceros, but I've got quite a thin skin really.
Bernadette 'Benny' Hogan: I don't know why you let me go to University. It's like taking me to the top of the mountain and showing me the world, and then marching me back down, and saying, "That's what you can't have Benny, you silly great fat article. Here's what you can have: Knockglen for the rest of your life and married to Sean bloody Walsh!" I'd rather be married to a bloody lizard.
Skylar: You were hoping for a good night kiss.
Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping for a good night lay, but I'd settle for a good night kiss.
Skylar: [bursts out laughing.] How very noble of you.
Will: Thank you... But I was, you know, hoping for a good night kiss.
Skylar: Well, let's just get it over with. Come on, come on.
[they have their first kiss, Skylar giggling the whole time.]
Skylar: [after a few seconds, Skylar bursts out laughing.] I think I got some of your pickle!
Tom: What did you hit me with, anyway?
Karen: It was a crucifix. (Everyone looks at her) What? It was all I could find.
Tom: Great, I'm gonna have people from all around the world come to see the impression of Jesus on my forehead.
Megan Dayton: You're going to get a heart, I know. And you'll be able to do all the things you never could before. That's what you've gotta concentrate on. Think of riding a bike, and going to Italy... and dating really handsome men. That, I know, has to happen for one of us.
Grace Briggs: I'm getting a new heart, not a new ass.