Captain: Lieutenant Bottoms, what is your status?
Lieutenant Bottoms: Captain, we had a small gas leak. It was silent, but not deadly.
Mushu: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! We're definitely gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming.
Mushu: Go get her? What's the matter with you... After this Great Stone Humpty-Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to be let back in the temple. Wait a minute! That's it! I'll make Mulan a war hero, and the ancestors will be begging me to come back. That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man.
Mushu: I was this close. This close to impressin' the ancestors, gettin' the top shelf, an entourage. Man. All my fine work. Pfft.
Jason: Professor? You okay?
Sherman Klump: Yeah. I just don't wanna hurt her, Jason.
Jason: Then you won't. Hey, you CAN control Buddy.
Sherman Klump: You know it's funny how you get used to certain things in life. You get used to being overweight. I know I did. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line, I got used to being alone. And I just don't want to be alone anymore.
Grandma Klump: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
Mama Klump: You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful.
Grandma Klump: Both feet, too. Both feet.
Grandma Klump: Does Cletus know I'm strapped?
Papa Klump: Come on, shoot.
Grandma Klump: I'm strapped, ni**a.
Papa Klump: If I want to put a trumpet in my ass and run around this restaurant and blow, then "Hallelujah!Yankee Doodle!" that's my business.
Papa Klump: What I do in my bedroom is MY business, you understand that?
Grandma Klump: The only thing you do in your bedroom is pull the lint off your scrotum.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.