Quotes from Mel Smith movies and TV shows

Roland T. Flakfizer: So, do you enjoy being a cab driver?
Rocco Melonchek: Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting.

Jacques: Society's to blame.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Too much violence in the movies.
Rocco Melonchek: It's my environment.
Jacques: We were carrying out orders.
Roland T. Flakfizer: It's the Japanese. They're buying up everything.
Rocco Melonchek: Did we leave anything out?

Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists.
Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long instruments?

Rocco Melonchek: You're lying.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Of course I am, but hear me out.

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