Below are some quotes involving Leslie Nielsen - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, just click "submit something" to submit something new.
[Randy is crying.]
Dr. Rumack: Randy, are you all right?
Randy: Oh, Dr. Rumack, I'm scared. I've never been so scared. And besides, I'm twenty-six and I'm not married.
Dr. Rumack: We're going to make it, you've got to believe that.
Mrs. Hammen: Dr. Rumack, do you have any idea when we'll be landing?
Dr. Rumack: Pretty soon. How are you holding up?
Mrs. Hammen: Well, to be honest, I've never been so scared. But, at least I have a husband.
[Randy cries even harder.].
Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
Elaine Dickinson: No.
Rumack: The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.
Commissioner Brumford: [On phone.] Hello? He did what? How many animals escaped? Oh, my god.
Frank: Hello, Commissioner. You're looking lovely this evening.
Commissioner Brumford: Do you realize that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons?
Frank: Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?
Frank: The truth hurts doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh, sure maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.
Terence Baggett: What's that smell?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Oh, that would be me. I've been swimming in raw sewage. I love it!
Lt. Frank Drebin: This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad. Throw down your guns, and come on out with your hands up. Or come on out, then throw down your guns, whichever way you wanna do it. Just remember the two key elements here: one, guns to be thrown down; two, come on out!
Lt. Frank Drebin: Congratulations, Ed! I hear Edna's pregnant again.
Ed Hocken: Yeah, and when I find the guy that did it.
Mayor: Now, Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side last year. That's my policy.
Frank Drebin: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron. You killed five actors! Good ones!
Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
Uncle Albert: How can you say that? I've been like a father to you! I raised you, just like your father did! I believed in you, just like your father did! I slept with your mother, just like your father did!