Quotes from Woody Harrelson movies and TV shows - page 3 of 4

Larry Flynt: I think the real obscenity comes from raising our youth to believe that sex is bad and ugly and dirty, and yet it is heroic to go spill guts and blood in the most ghastly manner in the name of humanity.

Simon Leis: Mr. Flynt, can you please turn to page 77? Can you describe to the jury what is on that page, please sir?
Larry Flynt: It's a picture of Santa Claus.
Simon Leis: What is Santa Claus doing?
Larry Flynt: He's talking to Mrs. Claus, and holding in his hand what appears to be a large, erect penis.
Simon Leis: And could you read the caption underneath that cartoon, please?
Larry Flynt: "This is what I've got to ho-ho-ho about."

Larry Flynt: Eight million people buy it, and no-one reads. Gentleman... Playboy is mocking you.

Larry Flynt: Why do I have to go to jail to protect your freedom?

More The People vs. Larry Flynt quotes

Vince Boudreau: If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.

More Play it to the Bone quotes

Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.

Al, Stage Manager: About that obscene song you sang last week.
Dusty: "I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs?"

Lefty: Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary?
Dusty: No, I didn't.
Lefty: Yeah, it runs in your genes.

Lefty: What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
Dusty: I don't know, Lefty. What do you get?
Lefty: A religious movement.

Dusty: Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?
Lefty: No. Who do they think did it?
Dusty: Well, they don't know, but they're on the look out for hardened criminals.

Dusty: Hey, uh... hey, Lefty. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Lefty: What'd he say?
Dusty: It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

More A Prairie Home Companion quotes

Jackie Moon: There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence 'Coffee' Black: So what's the plan?
Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Monix: Oh yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.

More Semi-Pro quotes

Charlie: Should've brought that gun along, buddy.
Marty: I don't believe in them.
Charlie: In guns? You don't believe in guns? They ain't fucking leprechauns, you dumb Mick.

More Seven Psychopaths quotes

Dr. Michael Reynolds: Why don't you grow some pubic hair, junior.
Brandon 'Blue' Monroe: I got pubic hair, asshole. It's the one place I got hair left.

Dr. Michael Reynolds: You have a television.
Navajo woman: No. I get Good Morning America through smoke signals.

More The Sunchaser quotes

Jack Mayweather: Dude, you just harshed my morning mellow.

More Surfer, Dude quotes

Jeffrey Allen: Walter? Detective Allen. First time being robbed? No fun, right?
Walter Sims: They got pictures of my family, my daughters, where we live, my daughters' school.
Jeffrey Allen: Walter, you're a bank manager. You should be smart enough to know that the monster has gone digital. Be careful what you instagoogletweetface.

Jeffrey Allen: Out here, there is no good and there is no bad. To survive out here, you've got to out monster the monster. Can you do that?

More Triple 9 quotes

Detective Marty Hart: Do you wonder ever if you're a bad man?
Detective Rust Cohle: No. I don't wonder, Marty. World needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door.

More True Detective quotes

The Colonel: All of human history has lead to this moment. The irony is we created you. And nature has been punishing us ever since. This is our last stand. And if we lose... it will be a Planet of Apes.

More War for the Planet of the Apes quotes

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