Harlan DeGroat: I want my fucking money, Petty. You hear me, you fucking cunt. Give me my fucking money. I don't give a shit how you get it, give me it. You fucking cunt.
John Petty: Now, will you calm down. I'll get you the money, Harlan. I'm fixin' for a fight this week.
Harlan DeGroat: You've been saying that but you've been fuckin' jerkin' me off. Give me my fucking money, you cunt.
Mantke Clerk: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Larry Flynt: No.
Judge Thomas Alva Mantke: No?
Larry Flynt: Your honor, I'm an atheist. I can't very well, uh, swear to a God I don't believe exists.
Judge Thomas Alva Mantke: Mr. Flynt, you are a handful.
Larry Flynt: I know, your honor.
Larry Flynt: I think the real obscenity comes from raising our youth to believe that sex is bad and ugly and dirty, and yet it is heroic to go spill guts and blood in the most ghastly manner in the name of humanity.
Simon Leis: Mr. Flynt, can you please turn to page 77? Can you describe to the jury what is on that page, please sir?
Larry Flynt: It's a picture of Santa Claus.
Simon Leis: What is Santa Claus doing?
Larry Flynt: He's talking to Mrs. Claus, and holding in his hand what appears to be a large, erect penis.
Simon Leis: And could you read the caption underneath that cartoon, please?
Larry Flynt: "This is what I've got to ho-ho-ho about."
Vince Boudreau: If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.
Al, Stage Manager: About that obscene song you sang last week.
Dusty: "I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs?"
Jackie Moon: There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence 'Coffee' Black: So what's the plan?
Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Monix: Oh yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.
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