Principal Skinner: I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? [The scene jumps forward in time.] It was on the best-seller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... [The scene jumps forward in time again.]...one of the most popular movies of all time, sir. What were you thinking? I mean thank you, come again.
[A group of police K-9's begin tracking Milhouse based on his scent.]
Chief Wiggum: Okay, we can all stop worrying now. These dogs never fail.
Kirk: But, will they just find Milhouse, or will they find him and kill him?
Chief Wiggum: Well, they'll, when they find him, they'll um, they'll um um hum um hush num.
Kirk: Uh, excuse me, you didn't answer me. You just trailed off.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah. Yeah, I did kinda trail off there, didn't I?
Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team, and I was wondering who's on first.
Principal Skinner: Yes, not the pronoun, rather a player with the unlikely name of "Who" is on first.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well that's just great Seymour, we've been out here six seconds, you've already managed to blow the routine!
Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Guy Who Eats People and Takes Their Faces: I'm right here, Chief.
Chief WIggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh great! Well if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death. Okay?
Officer Lou: Right.
Gargamel: I am not obsessed with Smurfs, thank you, I simply can't stop thinking about these little blue beasts every single moment of every single day! But I need them! It's only by capturing the little munchkins and extracting their happy blue essence that my magic will finally become... Not infallible...
Gargamel: INVINCIBLE, yes, thank you! I shall become the most powerful wizard in all of the world!
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