Hank Azaria

Quotes from Hank Azaria movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Moe: You gotta give me back my floor. The customers are walking around on the pipes.
Repo Agent: Hey, next time pay your bills.
Moe: But I don't want to!

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Krusty Gets Kancelled - S4-E22

Anthony Kiedis: You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people.
Moe: It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play, the audience is getting restless.
Barney: We want Chilly Willy! We want Chilly Willy!
Bart: Hey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, would you guys like to appear on a Krusty the Clown special?
Flea: Sure, if you can get us out of this gig.
Bart: No problemo. Hey Moe, look over there.
Moe: [Turns around and looks at the wall.] What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothin'. [Bart sneaks the Red Hot Chili Peppers out of the bar.] I'm gonna stop lookin' soon. What? What, is that it?
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost you.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.

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22 Short Films About Springfield - S7-E21

Principal Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be — Good lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.
Agnes Skinner: Seymour! The house is on fire!
Principal Skinner: No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Comic Book Store Owner: Now make like my pants and split!

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons - S9-E7

Apu: Okay, quickly, what is your favourite food, book and movie?
Manjula: The answer to all three is 'Fried Green Tomatoes'.

The Last Temptation of Homer - S5-E9

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: See I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo -
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[A man in the bar starts crying and runs out.]
Barney: Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!

Eight Misbehavin' - S11-E7

[Apu and Manjula are dealing with the stress of eight kids.]
Manjula: Apu, it's 4 A.M.! You'll be late for work!
Apu: [Groans.] I just had a wonderful dream where I died.
Manjula: Oh no you don't. Not till they're out of college.
Apu: Hey, woman, I'll die when I want to.

The Frying Game - S13-E21

Lenny: If you ask me, Muhammad Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes.
Carl: Yeah, but what about Johnny Mathis vs. Diet Pepsi?
Moe: Oh, I cannot listen to this again.

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Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - S5-E19

Principal Skinner: I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? [The scene jumps forward in time.] It was on the best-seller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... [The scene jumps forward in time again.]...one of the most popular movies of all time, sir. What were you thinking? I mean thank you, come again.

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Mommie Beerest - S16-E7

Marge: You'd be quite a catch if you'd shower and shave and stop swearing under your breath.
Moe: Aw, thanks Marge. [Under his breath.] Know-it-all bitch.

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Radioactive Man - S7-E2

[A group of police K-9's begin tracking Milhouse based on his scent.]
Chief Wiggum: Okay, we can all stop worrying now. These dogs never fail.
Kirk: But, will they just find Milhouse, or will they find him and kill him?
Chief Wiggum: Well, they'll, when they find him, they'll um, they'll um um hum um hush num.
Kirk: Uh, excuse me, you didn't answer me. You just trailed off.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah. Yeah, I did kinda trail off there, didn't I?

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Marge Simpson in 'Screaming Yellow Honkers' - S10-E15

Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team, and I was wondering who's on first.
Principal Skinner: Yes, not the pronoun, rather a player with the unlikely name of "Who" is on first.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well that's just great Seymour, we've been out here six seconds, you've already managed to blow the routine!

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Helter Shelter - S14-E5

Moe: Telegram for Haywood U. Cuddleme. Haywood U. Cuddleme? Big guy in the back, Haywood U. Cuddleme? Oh, dude, that little! [Returning telegram] I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific!

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Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming - S7-E9

Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Guy Who Eats People and Takes Their Faces: I'm right here, Chief.
Chief WIggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh great! Well if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death. Okay?
Officer Lou: Right.

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Homer at the Bat - S3-E17

Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: OK, you asked for it, Boggs! [Punches him out.]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston! [Punches Moe out.]

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More The Simpsons quotes

Gargamel: I am not obsessed with Smurfs, thank you, I simply can't stop thinking about these little blue beasts every single moment of every single day! But I need them! It's only by capturing the little munchkins and extracting their happy blue essence that my magic will finally become... Not infallible...
Azrael: Meow!
Gargamel: INVINCIBLE, yes, thank you! I shall become the most powerful wizard in all of the world!

More The Smurfs quotes

Mordechai Anielewicz: Can a moral man, that's me, maintain his moral code in an immoral world?

More Uprising quotes

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