Paul: Don't look at me with that tone of voice.
Paul: You know, I never knew what happiness was until I married your mother. And by then it was too late.
Trent: You know I'm not just asking you to dinner as a pre-emptive strike against litigation. I'm asking because.
Meredith: I'll have dinner with you.
Trent: What changed your mind?
Meredith: Anyone who can say 'preemptive strike against litigation' with a straight face deserves a dinner companion.
Meredith: Well, That doesn't take long does it?
Trent: What doesn't?
Meredith: I mean, you turn a guy down a-and wham. He just metamophoses into an anger ball.
Trent: An 'Anger ball'?
Keenan: This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.
Joan: So? We're all damaged goods.
Joan: I feed the fucking thing. I take her to the vet, all you do is pet her twice a day... which is a hell of a lot more than you've been doing to me lately.
Joan: Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.
Keenan: My mind has an endless capacity for useless information.
Joan: When was having sex or not having sex not a problem?
Max: Some girls like you to say things like that to them.
Joan: Some girls like you to take a dump on them. I'm neither one of those girls.
Joan: I want to get rid of you as much as I want to get rid of that crap from Ikea.
Keenan: What did I ever do to deserve you?
Joan: Usually that line is screamed at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change.
Meredith: I have a hard time trusting men.
Trent: I'm not men. I'm not a group. I'm just me.
Joan: You don't say much, do you?
Keenan: Does anyone when they're with you?
Joan: The lad doesn't say much and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul.
Keenan: You're terrific, sensational really, but I'm not right for you.
Paul: Well if I have to wear a tux, she has to wear a bra.
Lana: I may be a fabulous looking broad, but I got a penis. This ain't no disco and I don't want no "Crying Game" drama.