Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Young Neil: He punched the highlights out of her hair!
Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.
Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
Scott's Computer: You've got mail.
Scott Pilgrim: Dude, this thing claims I have mail.
Wallace Wells: Guess who's drunk!
Scott Pilgrim: I guess Wallace.
Wallace Wells: You guess right!
Gideon Gordon Graves: Do you have any idea how long it took me to get all the evil exes' contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like, two hours! TWO HOURS!
Stacey Pilgrim: I mean, did you really see a future with this girl?
Scott Pilgrim: Like... With jetpacks?
Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?
Knives Chau: I've never even kissed a guy before.
Scott Pilgrim: Hey... Me neither.
Roxy Richter: Oh I'd love to postpone darling, but I just cashed in my last rain check.
Scott Pilgrim: Where's that from?
Roxy Richter: My brain!
Wallace Wells: Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost.
Knives Chau: You stole my boyfriend. Taste my steel!
Scott Pilgrim: Hey so, can this not be a one-night stand? For one thing I didn't even get any. That was a joke.
Ramona V. Flowers: What did you have in mind?
Scott Pilgrim: Oh, come to this first round of this battle of the bands thing.
Ramona V. Flowers: You have a band?
Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, we're terrible. Please come.
Scott Pilgrim: What's the website for Amazon.ca?
Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca.
Lucas Lee: The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.
Scott: Not only do I wanna take part, I wanna take them apart.
Gideon Gordon Graves: [talking to Knives.] Listen, kung pow chicken.
Stacey Pilgrim: 17-year-old? Scandal.
Scott Pilgrim: Who told you.
Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace, duh.
Scott Pilgrim: That gossipy bitch.
Wallace Wells: You know me.
