500 Days of Summer

Tom: It's these cards and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all lies and the heartache, everything.

Add time

Tom: Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?

Add time

Rachel Hansen: PMS?
Tom: What do you know about PMS?
Rachel Hansen: More than you, Tom.

Add time

Vance: Roses are red, violets are blue... Fuck you, whore!

Add time

Tom: Paul, seriously...
Paul: Did you bang her?
Tom: No!
Paul: Blow job?
Tom: No!
Paul: Hand job?
Tom: No, Paul, no jobs. I'm still unemployed. We just kissed.

Add time

Rachel Hansen: Just some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt's face and Jesus' abs.

Add time

Tom: Either she's an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or... She's a robot.

Add time

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Add time

Summer: We're just friends.
Tom: No! Don't pull that with me! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!

Add time

Tom: People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel, or they're afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook.

Add time

Tom: I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it.

Add time

Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.

Add time

Paul: Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real.

Add time

Rachel Hansen: Tom, I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Next time you look back, I think you should look again.

Add time

Summer: All we ever do is argue!
Tom: That is bullshit!

Add time

Vance: Misery, sadness, loss of faith, no reason to live... This is perfect for you.

Add time

Tom: Nobody loves Ringo Starr.
Summer: That's what I love about him.

Add time

McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday?
Tom: Nope, all done.
McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations." So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well done."
Tom: Hmmm. How about..."Every day you make me proud. But today you get a card."
McKenzie: Shit, that's good!
Tom: I know.

Add time

Rachel Hansen: Quit being a pussy.

Add time

Tom: You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife?

Add time

Narrator: Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday.

Add time

Tom: She took a giant shit on my face. Literally.
Alison: Literally?
Tom: Well, no, not literally. That's disgusting.

Add time

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

Add time

Narrator: This is a boy meets girl story. It is not a love story.

Add time

Rachel Hansen: Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.

Add time

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

Add time

Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.

Add time

Tom: It's official. I'm in love with Summer. I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love how she licks her lips before she talks. I love her heart-shaped birthmark on her neck. I love it when she sleeps.

Add time

Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.

Add time

More movie quotes

Share

Follow