My Best Friend's Girl

My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

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Professor Turner: See I always knew your mom was the best it was ever going to get for me. And I never asked the more important question which is, was I the best it was ever going to get for her?

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Professor Turner: She fucks like an epileptic at a strobe light convention.

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Tank: How do I bump into her?
Craig: She's a high school English teacher.
Tank: I can't really hang around high school these days, unfortunately.

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Tank: I tried like a motherfucker to follow you in. But this door does like a lock thing when you are inside. Anyway here is what I'm thinking, we start with a blow job. I turn what most girls think is a chore into a training session.

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Tank: The only funny thing that will ever come out of you, is me!

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Professor Turner: The truth will set you free but before it does, it's gonna piss you off!

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Tank: [sitting watching "Ghost" and crying.] God, I'm a fag.

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Tank: Whats the plan for tonight? Bring this girl back here. Pop open a bottle of chloroform. Insert tab A in slot B, repeat as necessary.

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Tank: I would kick you in the ass, but my foot might get sucked in.
Alexis: Well I would kick you in the dick, but my foot might get Herpes.

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Tank: How was I suppose to know it was your sister? How was I suppose to know? It was dark, I was drunk and I thought it was you. Oh she's pregnant, too? You tell your sister, I will make a donation to planned parenthood in her honor.

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