Juno
Movie Quote Quiz

Mac MacGuff: Whats that thing?
Vanessa Loring: It's a pilates machine.
Mac MacGuff: What do you make with it?
Vanessa Loring: Oh you don't make anything with it, its for exercise.

Add time

Juno MacGuff: We don't even have a dog.
Bren MacGuff: Well that's because you're allergic to their saliva. I've made a lot of sacrifices for you, Juno, and in a few years, when you move out, I'm getting weimaraners.
Juno MacGuff: Woah, dream big.

Add time

Leah: Yo Yo Yiggady Yo.
Juno MacGuff: I'm pregnant.
Leah: What? Honest to blog? Are you sure it's not a food baby? Did you eat a big lunch?
Juno MacGuff: This is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.
Leah: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?
Juno MacGuff: T don't know, I drank like, ten gallons of Sunny D... I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting shockingly caviler.
Leah: Is this for real?
Juno MacGuff: Unfortunately, yes.
Leah: Oh my GOD. Shit! Phuket, Thailand!

Add time

Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

Add time

Rollo: That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet.

Add time

Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today.
Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.
Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.

Add time

Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.

Add time

Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's yours just because you marked it with your urine!

Add time

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

Add time

Vanessa Loring: How do I look?
Bren MacGuff: Like a new mom. Scared shitless.

Add time

Mac MacGuff: You don't even remember to give Liberty Bell her breathing meds!
Juno MacGuff: That was one time! And she did not die if you recall.

Add time

Juno MacGuff: Yeah I came as soon as I got that ultrasound goo off my pelvis. It was crazy actually, my step-mom verbally abused the ultrasound tech and we got escorted off the premises.

Add time

Juno MacGuff: ...And the receptionist tried to give me these weird condoms that looked like grape suckers, and she told me about her boyfriend's pie balls and Su-Chin was there and she told me the baby had fingernails. Fingernails!
Leah: Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?

Add time

Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.

Add time

Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.
Vanessa Loring: That's great.
Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

Add time

Punk Receptionist: Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry.
Juno MacGuff: No, thanks. I'm off sex right now.
Punk Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.

Add time

Mac MacGuff: Did you see that coming?
Bren MacGuff: Yeah... But I was hoping she was expelled, or into hard drugs.
Mac MacGuff: Or DWI... Anything but this.

Add time

Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Add time

Vanessa Loring: So... How are we going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Uh, aren't I just gonna, ya know, squeeze it out and, hand it over to you?
Gerta Rauss: Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption...
Mac MacGuff: What do you mean?
Juno MacGuff: Wait... No! I mean, can't we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?
Mark Loring: Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament.
Gerta Rauss: ...So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved?
Juno MacGuff: SSHHIT! YES! Close it up!

Add time

Juno MacGuff: I could so go for like a huge cookie right now, with like, a lamb kabob simultaneously.

Add time

Juno MacGuff: Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."

Add time

Mac MacGuff: Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener.

Add time

More movie quotes

Anyone else disappointed she adopted it?

You may like...

Join the mailing list

Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Add something

Most popular pages

Best movie mistakesBest mistake picturesBest comedy movie quotesMovies with the most mistakesNew this monthJaws mistakesJurassic Park mistake pictureFriends mistakesHide and Seek endingThe Village questionsRed Dwarf triviaStep Brothers quotesThe Deer Hunter plotSylvester Stallone movies & TV showsThe 20 biggest mistakes in Jurassic ParkDunkirk mistake video

Mistakes

As Juno is walking into the abortion clinic, an exterior shot shows that there is only one entrance door. The shot of her entering from inside the clinic shows a double-door entrance.

More...

Trivia

The song that Juno and Bleeker sing at the end of the movie is called "Anyone Else" by the Moldy Peaches. The original song is played by a girl (Kimya Dawson) and a boy (Adam Green) but in the movie Bleeker sings the girl's part and Juno the guy's part.

More...