Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Then wonderful, welcome back.

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Willy Wonka: Good morning starshine...the earth says hello!

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Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.

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Violet Beauregarde: I'm Violet Beauregarde.
Willy Wonka: I don't care.

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Mike Teavee: Who wants a beard?
Willy Wonka: Well, beatnicks for one; folk singers and motorbike riders. You know, all those hip, jazzy, super-cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge daddy-o. Are you hep to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin soul brother.

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Violet Beauregarde: Are they real people?
Willy Wonka: Of course they're real people. They're Oompa Loompas. Straight from Loompaland.
Mr. Teavee: There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me?
Mr. Teavee: Mr Wonka, I teach high school geography.
Willy Wonka: Well, then, you'll know all about it and what a terrible place it is.

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Mr. Teevee: So can you send other things? Say, like, breakfast cereal?
Willy Wonka: Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of? It's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners.
Charlie: But could you send it by TV if you wanted to?
Willy Wonka: Of course I could.
Mike Teevee: What about people?
Willy Wonka: Well, why would I wanna send a person? They don't taste very good at all.

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Willy Wonka: I've tried it on, like,20 Oompa Loompahs and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!

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Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, don't eat yourself.
Augustus: But I taste so good!

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Willy Wonka: Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!

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Mrs. Gloop: Zen he vil be made into strawberry flavoured chocolate coated fudge, to be sold by the pound, all over the world?
Willy Wonka: No, I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine: Augustus flavored chocolate coated Gloop? Ew. No one would buy it.

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Willy Wonka: Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called canibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

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Willy Wonka: This is the puppet hospital and burns unit. It's relatively new.

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Willy Wonka: [while passing over Oompa Loompahs shaving pink sheep.] I don't want to talk about that one.

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Charlie Bucket: Dad...why aren't you at work?
Mr. Bucket: [Looks at Mrs. Bucket.] Well, the toothpaste factory has decided to give me a bit of time off.
Charlie Bucket: Like a summer vacation?
Mr. Bucket: Sure, something like that.

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Mrs. Beauregarde: I can't have a blueberry as a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?
Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair.

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Willy Wonka: [hiding behind a newspaper while Charlie shines his shoes.] Too bad about that chocolate guy. Walter... Er, Waldo...
Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka: Right, him. Did you ever meet him?
Charlie Bucket: I met him. I thought he was great at first. Then he didn't turn out that nice. And he has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka: [throwing the newspaper down.] I do not!

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Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, I was having a flashback.
Mr. Teavee: These flashbacks happen often?
Willy Wonka: Increasingly... Today.

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Charlie: So... If I go with you, to live in your factory, I'll never see my family again?
Willy Wonka: Yeah! Consider that a bonus!

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Mike Teavee: You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles... DUH! Second, the amount of power it would take to convert energy into matter would be like nine atomic bombs.
Willy Wonka: MUMBLER! Seriously, I cannot understand a word you're saying!

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Willy Wonka: All right, let's start the tour.
Violet Beauregarde: Wait, don't you want to know our names?
Willy Wonka: I can't see why that would possibly make any difference.

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Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want one of those squirrels! Get me one of those squirrels!
Mr. Salt: All right dear. Mr. Wonka, how much for one of your squirrels? Name your price.
Willy Wonka: Oh, they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: Daddy!
Willy Wonka: [impersonating Mr. Salt.] I'm sorry, darling, Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.

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Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want to go in.
Mr Salt: It's 9:59, sweetheart.
Veruca Salt: Make time go faster.

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Willy Wonka: Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most.

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Mistakes

In the scene in the glass elevator, when Mike Teavee wants to push a button, he presses the TV Room button. The elevator stops going down and immediately moves horizontally. The characters within the elevator are thrown against the wall from the sudden change. However, they are thrown against the wall that is in the direction the elevator is now moving, instead of the opposite wall as they should have been.

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Trivia

The many Oompa Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are all played by the same man - Deep Roy. They used CGI to duplicate him. He would do a ton of different dance moves so when it's all put together, it would look like there were a bunch of different Oompa Loompas.

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