Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you'd better be gone!
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.
Melissa: Hi, Roger. How are you holding up?
Roger: Well, if it looks like I'm walking funny it's because two dozen reporters up my ass! They've been asking me about Snowflake all morning.
Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here?
Ace Ventura: I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
[Ace looks at the dog owner in his mirror as he's smashing the car with the baseball bat.]
Ace Ventura: Warning, assholes are grosser than they appear!
Chosen answer: That scene was cut originally by the director Tom Shadyack because the scene did not support the story and thought it slowed the film down. (And the scene was cut from the US version as well.) It was added back later in TV versions of the film. Fan enjoyed the scene so much they asked it be put back in the film version. I know the DVD has it because I own it. It's hilarious!