The Big Lebowski

Jackie Treehorn: Refill?
The Dude: Does the Pope shit in the woods?

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The Dude: At least I'm housebroken.

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Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

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Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

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Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

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Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

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The Dude: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

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The Dude: Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.

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The Dude: Where's the fucking money, Lebowski?

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Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

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Jackie Treehorn: People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
The Dude: On you maybe.

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Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... With nail polish. These fucking amateurs.

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The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

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The Dude: So, if you could just uh, write me a check for my ten percent of half a million, five grand.

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Bishop73

The Dude: I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so fucking certain!
Walter Sobchak: That's right, Dude. 100% certain.

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The Dude: This is the fuckin' guy! I can find this fuckin' Lebowski guy!
Donny: His name's Lebowski? That's your name, Dude!

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The Dude: My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.

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Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

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The Dude: Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill! So what the fuck are you talking about!
Walter: What the fuck are you talking about! The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line you do not...also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian American, please.

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Bishop73

The Dude: I'm sorry your stepmother is a nympho.

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Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: 'Scuse me?
Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?

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Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?

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Jackie Treehorn: Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic!
The Dude: Yeah well, I still jerk off manually.

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The Dude: Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man.
Blond Treehorn Thug: Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny.
The Dude: My... My wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up, man!

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Walter Sobchak: Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

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Jesus Quintana: Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

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Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

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The Dude: That rug really tied the room together.

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The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

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Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

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[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude.]
Sherry: [on video.] You must be here to fix the cable.
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

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The Dude: Hey! Watch it man, there's a beverage here.

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The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov!

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Bunny: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: [Forced laughter.] Hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ahahaha. That's marvellous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

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[Explaining to the furious Big Lebowski how he has lost the ransom money.]
The Dude: I dropped off the money exactly as per - look... Man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light, and - y'know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, y'know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, y'know, given the nature of all this new shit, y'know, this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... Uh, y'know?

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Malibu Police Chief: Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
The Dude: [long pause.] I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
[The chief of police viciously throws a coffee mug at his head.]
The Dude: Ow! Fucking fascist!

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Bunny: Ulli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.
The Dude: Ah. Must be exhausting.

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The Big Lebowski: Are you employed, sir?
The Dude: Employed?
The Big Lebowski: You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?
The Dude: Is this a... What day is this?

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The Dude: Let me explain something to you; I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

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Goon: Where's the money, Lebowski?
[Shoves the Dude's head down the toilet then pulls him back up.]
Goon: Where's the money, Lebowski?
The Dude: It's down there somewhere, let me have another look.

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Mistakes

When the Dude is in Jackie Treehorn's estate, he pencils over a pad of paper to see what Jackie wrote down while he was on the phone. He then hurriedly crumples up the piece of paper and shoves it in his wallet. Then, when we see the Chief of Police of Malibu looking through the contents of The Dude's wallet, the paper is there, neatly folded in fourths.

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Trivia

At the beginning of the movie, when The Dude is writing a check for the cream at the grocery, look at the date on the check. Sept 11, 1991. A few seconds later we see George Bush Sr. talking about Iraq. So here we have a scene containing Sept. 11th, George Bush and references to the Middle East in a movie that takes place in 1991.

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