Batman Returns

Batman Returns (1992)

25 quotes

Selina Kyle: Honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.

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Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...
Max Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.

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[Catwoman is hit by Batman.]
Catwoman: How could you?! I'm a woman!
Batman: I'm sorry, I...
[Batman is hit by Catwoman.]
Catwoman: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a bitch, now so am I!

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Selina Kyle: It's the so-called "normal" guys that always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.

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Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Catwoman: A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.

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Max Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me Chip, except your late mother. Who'da thought Selina had a brain to damage? Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.

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The Penguin: Why does somebody always bring eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

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The Penguin: They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' them out on a slab!

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Catwoman: I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much... Yummier.

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The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.

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Max Shreck: Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed as Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!

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Catwoman: You said you were going to scare the Ice Princess.
The Penguin: She looked pretty scared to me.

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The Penguin: You've gotta admit, I've played this stinking city like a harp from hell.

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Selina Kyle: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Bruce Wayne: But a kiss can be even deadlier...if you mean it.
[Bruce and Selina realize each other's identities.]
Selina Kyle: Oh my god. Does this mean we have to start fighting?

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Batman: What do you want?
The Penguin: Ah! The direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask.

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The Penguin: Don't adjust your sets. Welcome to the Oswald Cobblepot school of driving. Gentlemen, start your screaming.

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Selina Kyle: It's gonna be a hot time in a cold town tonight.
Bruce Wayne: You've got sort of a dark side, don't you?
Selina Kyle: No darker than yours, Bruce.

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Young Female Volunteer: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

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The Penguin: Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!

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The Penguin: I am not a human being, I am an animal!

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The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask.

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Henchman: Penguin... Killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a little ah...
[Penguin grabs an umbrella and shoots Henchman dead.]
The Penguin: No! It's a lot!

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The Penguin: It's true I was their number one son... But they treated me like number two!

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Alfred: Why are you now determined to prove that this Penguin is not what he seems? Must you be the only lonely man-beast in town?

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Catwoman: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.

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