Katherine: I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.
Grace: I finally meet a guy who likes me for me. And I'm not even me.
Mrs. Elton: A lot of rubbish is talked about love. You know what real love is? It's wiping someone's arse or changing the sheets when they've wet themselves. And letting them keep their dignity so you can both go on.
Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... Always.
Jacob Black: You kill her, you kill me.
Lord Redbrick: I'm not illiterate! My parents were married!
Emma: A tortilla is either corn or wheat. But a corn tortilla folded and filled is a taco, whereas a filled wheat tortilla is a burrito. Deep fry a burrito, it's a chimichanga. Toast a tortilla, it's a tostada. Roll it, it's an enchilada.
Gil: I'm having trouble because I'm a Hollywood hack who never gave real literature a shot.
David Norris: All I have are the choices I make, and I choose her, come what may.
Julian Goldstein: What are you afraid of?
Marley Corbett: I'm scared this entire night's gonna go by and you'll never wanna kiss me.
Nora Dominguez: I avoid relationships because I can't count on them.
George Valentin: With pleasure.