Woody: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and... temperate. Rough winds... blah blah blah... There's something in there I can't remember. And, uh... yadda yadda yadda. I'm sorry, I... I'm no Shakespeare. My guess, Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback either, right?
Brian Jackson: Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be clever. Some people are born clever, same way some people are born beautiful. I'm not one of those people.
Martha Beck: You know what they say about cops and donuts?
Charles Hilderbrandt: No, what?
Martha Beck: Neither one's any good without a hole in them.
Charles Hilderbrandt: They say that about women, too.
Tom Dobbs: If Mama Cass had shared a lunch with Karen Carpenter, both would still be alive today... What do I think of gay marriage? I believe gays have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
Ludwig van Beethoven: An artist is someone who has learnt to trust in himself.
Tanzie Marchetta: You caught me. I guess that, like, makes you my hero.
Girl: Do you like this shop? I buy all my clothes here. Good for me, you know. Cheap. Nice fashion.
Sam: I'm slightly tone deaf, but Matt's always said if I wasn't tone deaf, I'd have a very good voice.
Gary: Fate has me highly skilled and loaded with talent.
Matt Saunders: Hannah.
Vaughn Haige: Oh, man, I think she's dead. Time to start the grieving process.
Brett Dolan: This isn't about me or Miles, Nora. It's about Tyler.
Nora: No, Brett, It's about me.
Emperor Ping: What I do not give, you must never take by force.
Chloe: Damn it. I am trying to fuck your best friend here. Give me a little cooperation please.