Mrs. Fenty: You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.
Ben Rumson: I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.
Mrs. Fenty: Didn't that cure your appetite for drinking?
Ben Rumson: No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'.
Jason McCullough: How's Joe?
Jake: Oh, he figures he's going to be out of here and we're going to be dead about this time tomorrow.
Jason McCullough: Did he seem to feel any sorrow over the fact that we might all be killed?
Jake: No, it's more like he planned to dance and spit all over our graves.
Jason McCullough: Sounds like Joe.
Mr. Short: Miss Dobbin, what's the meaning of this?
Miss Dobbin: I'm sorry sir but the gentlemen kept touching things.
Charlie Muggins: Yes she was showing me how to stick the pole up.
Charlie Croker: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Dolly Levi: And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. It's a little lumpy, but it rings.
Alice Henderson: Listen! You tell me why do you think we come out here?
Carol Sanders: To have fun.
Alice Henderson: And what is more fun than an orgy! Orgy.
Brenda Patimkin: Look, I'm not gonna take the pills, and that's the end of it. In the first place, you don't just take the pills: you have to start taking them at a specific time.
Neil Klugman: You get a diaphragm.
Linus Van Pelt: You look like you've been through shock treatment or something.
Charlie Brown: What's more shocking than having your faults projected on a screen?