Murray: You might call Nick a bastard... or a little bastard, depending on how whimsical you feel at the time.
Standish: Insurance companies move in mysterious ways. Much like God... only far less generous.
Narrator: One enemy a day keeps the doctor away.
Hugh Lombard: Drop dead.
Det. William Henry Blore: That's not funny.
Susan: I expected to be frightened on my wedding night, but nothing like this.
Jock McGrath: You're a clever bag of tricks, you are, Roberts. Not inside glasshouse half an hour and you use your bloody influence to get us a ride on the hill. Oh I bet, there's one Saturday night booze up your father's always regretted.
Anna: But, Boris, this is genius.
Medical Professor: Really? I thought it was Rachmaninoff. I'm going for a smoke.
Wilbur Glenworthy: There's got to be a way to get those stiffs off my property.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I am a doctor of the mind.
Victor Skakapopulis: Really?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Yes.
Victor Skakapopulis: I have terrible emotional problems. Could you help me?
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You certainly picked a very odd time to ask me, just in the middle of a suicide.
Narrator: What you are about to see may not even be possible, within the narrow limits of human understanding.
Anna Hedler, Nurse: A man's arms are welcome and comforting to most women. But not to me. At Ravensbrück, I was used by the officers - by the soldiers - by the guards. At first it was vile and horrifying. Then after a time it became worse. It became nothing. I didn't scream, fight, or cry any more. I haven't cried since.
Maj. Jefferson F. Pike: I'm sorry for you. To love takes tears. I hope someday you'll be able to cry again.
The Dealer - Mrs. Clover: That hearse is still outside, go away, go away.
Daisy Clover: Oh it's going away all right Old Chap, with me in it.
Count Emilio Ponticelli: Like-a Caesar, we go to England.
Emperor of China: It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Zeke Kelso: You mean you want me to tail the cat as if he's a person?
Supervisor, Mr. Newton: Unless it would be easier to tail him as a cat.
Contessina de Medici: Your question insults us both.
Native Girl: You Navy boys have funny ideas. OK for boy, but, not OK for girl.
Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: If it's the last thing I do, I'll have that entire band transferred to Alaska.
Elsa: I'm hungry too. What's for breakfast?
Fred: Sheriff, on toast.
Capt. Mark Markary: I'll tell you this, if there 'are' any intelligent creatures on this planet... they're our enemies.