Tuggle Carpenter: Girls like me weren't built to be educated. We were made to have children. That's my ambition: to be a walking, talking baby factory. Legal, of course. And with union labor.
Sign in flower shop: We don't letting you spend so much.
Sam McCord: George, a wonderful thing about Alaska is that matrimony hasn't hit up here yet. Let's keep it a free country.
Steiner: Don't be like me. Salvation doesn't lie within four walls. I'm too serious to be a dilettante and too much a dabbler to be a professional. Even the most miserable life is better than a sheltered existence in an organized society where everything is calculated and perfected.
Reverend Paul Ford: We looked for the good in them, and we found it, didn't we?
C.C. Baxter: The mirror... It's broken.
Fran Kubelik: Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
Tipsy Girl: I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on.
Lt. Rip Crandall: This hulk is commissioned? As what?
Ens. Tommy J. Hanson: It's unclassified, sir.
Lt. Rip Crandall: Uncla-? I can believe that.
Victor Rhyall, Earl: Sellers, have you seen my bible?
Trevor Sellers, the Butler: I'm afraid I've got it. I wanted to look something up.
Victor Rhyall, Earl: First you borrow my times, now you pinch my bible. That's democracy running amok.
Trevor Sellers, the Butler: I'm extremely sorry, Mylord. I'll put it back beside your bed.
Victor Rhyall, Earl: Anyway, you should have a bible of your own.
Trevor Sellers, the Butler: Well, the one you're using is mine, Mylord.
The Rev Fowler: I'll remember you all tonight in my prayers, boys.
Dodger: We'll be lucky if he remembers us after the second pint.
Ella: Did you ever try wearin' a suit?
Blake Barton: A suit?
Ella: A suit - s, u, t.
Bugs Bunny: Like the man said: Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
