SpongeBob SquarePants (1999) - 27 quotes

SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...

[Rumble of thunder.]

SpongeBob SquarePants: ... a flying ice cream truck.

[A shadow forms over SpongeBob.]

SpongeBob SquarePants: And live!

Spongebob Squarepants: Oh, Gary! Why didn't you tell me I was pushing you too hard?

Gary: Meow!

Spongebob Squarepants: You did? Oh, Gary! Why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?

Gary: Meow!

Spongebob Squarepants: You did?

Spongebob Squarepants: We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new tactic.

Patrick Star: I got it! Let's get naked!

Spongebob Squarepants: No, lets save that for when we're selling real estate.

Squidward Tentacles: Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where it's almost as if the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.

Mr. Krabs: The health inspector is here! If he finds one health violation, he'll shut us down for good! We've got to do everything in our power to make sure he passes the Krusty Krab!

Spongebob Squarepants: But, Mr. Krabs, there's nothing to worry about. The Krusty Krab is the most perfect place in the universe.

Mr. Krabs: You really haven't got any brains at all, have you, son?

Squidward Tentacles: Spongebob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away, that I will be able to brag about it. I would rather tear out my brain stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest four-way intersection and skip rope with it than continue living where I do now.

TV announcer: Hi, there. Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain stem, walk out in the middle of the nearest three-way-

Squidward Tentacles: Four-way.

TV announcer: Four-way intersection and skip rope with it than continue living where you do now?

Squidward Tentacles: Spongebob, there's something I've been wanting to say to you since the day we met. Goodbye.

[Squidward believes Spongebob has swallowed an exploding pie.]

Squidward Tentacles: We gotta call the hospital!

Mr. Krabs: Won't do any good. I've seen this before. When that pie hits his lower intestine - boom!

Squidward Tentacles: You've seen this before?

Mr. Krabs: 11 times, as a matter of fact.

[Squidward calls the hospital anyway.]

Squidward Tentacles: Hello, doctor. Won't do any good? 11 times?!?

[Squidward and Spongebob beleive robots are taking over the world]

Squidward Tentacles: I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy.

Spongebob Squarepants: Hello, operator. Get me the navy.

Phone recording: Hello, you've reached the navy's automated phone service.

Spongebob Squarepants: Squidward! The robots are running the navy!

[Spongebob and Patrick have just been fried by Man-Ray]

Patrick Star: What's that smell?

Spongebob Squarepants: That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.

Patrick Star: Oh, good. I thought it was my skin.

Spongebob Squarepants: Remember, Patrick. Flatter the customer. Make him feel good.

Fish: Hello?

Patrick Star: I love you.

[Spongebob and Patrick have wrecked Mr. Krabs' first dollar]

Patrick Star: This is all Mr. Krab's fault. If he hadn't had hung that stupid dollar in the first place. It's not as if it looks like any regular dollar. Why hang it? You could just stick any old dollar bill up on the wall and Krabs wouldn't know the difference! You might as well just reach into my wallet, take out a dollar, and put it on the wall.

Spongebob Squarepants: Patrick, take out your wallet.

Patrick Star: I don't see where you're going with this.

Help Wanted / Reef Blowers / Tea at the Treedome (series 1)

Mr Krabs: I smell the smelly smell of something that smells...smelly...

Pizza Delivery / Home Sweet Pineapple (series 1)

Squidward: [Answers phone.] Hello?

SpongeBob: Squidward!

Squidward: Is it time already for you to ruin my day?

SpongeBob: Squidward! Help me! My house is shrinking and I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller...oh no!

Squidward: Yep, it is.

[Patrick comes out from his rock.]

Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? [Falls off rock onto his furniture then jumps out with a tuxedo on.] Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me!

Squidward: Sponge, we gotta eat something.

Spongebob: I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat corals. No, maybe it wasn't coral. Maybe it was sand, no, mud.

Squidward: Give me the pizza!

Spongebob: Wait, I remember now. It was coral!

Squidward: Give it to me!

Squidward: Will you let go of that stupid pizza, already?

Spongebob: I can't it's for the customer.

Squidward: Who cares about the customer?

Spongebob: I do!

Squidward: Well, I don't!

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy / Pickles (series 1)

Mermaidman: To the meatloaf! To the broccoli! Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins.

SpongeBob: Wow, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.

Patrick: It's too bad they're old.

SpongeBob: What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience.

MuscleBob BuffPants / Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost (series 1)

SpongeBob: I don't know how to say this Patrick, but our old pal Squidward, he's... he's pushing up daisies.

Patrick: Oh, I thought he was dead.

Squidward: Spongebob, are you trying to drive me to the nut house?

Spongebob: No. Just into this hole.